


swipe right

by malahmente



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Royai - Freeform, tinder au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-09-29 17:12:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17207540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malahmente/pseuds/malahmente
Summary: This was Rebecca's fault. Granted, everything was Rebecca's fault, but this especially.Or, the Tinder AU no one asked for but still got.





	1. the meeting

**Author's Note:**

> originally found on my tumblr, but moving it here so can flesh out the story better, and so more people can find it. hope you enjoy!
> 
> more of me at malahmente @ tumblr.

“Rebecca,” Riza hissed, swatting her friend’s hands away when they fussed over her eyebrows for the eighth time in half an hour. “ _Enough_.”

Rebecca, her sweet but incredibly overbearing best friend, snapped her hands away, but her excitement was obvious as she vibrated in her chair. “Sorry, it’s just—this is your first date in  _two years_! I’m excited!”

The blonde’s brow furrowed. “ _I’m_  the one going on the date, Becks.”

“I  _know_!” Rebecca cried, throwing her hands up excitedly. “It’s a miracle!”

Riza sighed as her friend fussed over her hair this time, biting her tongue and letting her have her fun. At least  _someone_ was.

"I hope he's as cute in person," the dark-haired girl sighed.

"I'd seriously shoot you if he wasn't," Riza deadpanned, ignoring Becky's glare.

Becky had bothered her for the past 6 months to get a Tinder account, partly because the dark-haired girl was starting to get annoyed that the choices her dating app was giving _her_  weren't “cute,” but mostly because she wanted someone—namely Riza—to accompany her in the search for a love life. Whether Riza was or wasn’t actually looking for a love life wasn’t something that Rebecca took into account, however.

She didn't so much as mind. She wasn't interested in finding a love life, with her work at the clinic eating up most of her time, but she was fine with letting Becky rant and rave and vent about the many, many guys she dated over the past 6 months or longer. What she  _did_ mind was setting up a date for her, mostly without her knowledge.

“It’s not gonna get any straighter, Becks,” Riza said tiredly, her friend oddly focused on a particular lock of hair at the back of her head.

Rebecca finally found it in herself to restrain her fussing. “Fine, fine. I’ll stop.”

Riza bit back a sharp  _That’s what you said fifteen minutes ago_  and sighed instead. In truth, Riza could tell Becky was just nervous. What if she didn't like the guy? Then Rebecca would feel infinitely guilty. What if the guy was a complete asshole? Then Becky would feel even  _worse_.

Last week, when her friend had beamed excitedly at her that after two hours of creating an account and subsequently using it, she announced that had booked a date for the blonde on Friday, 6 p.m. at Casa Christmas, on the corner of 6th and Commerce. Riza had sputtered and almost yelled at her friend—and Riza  _never_ yelled. Rebecca had felt  _so_ bad, but she couldn't cancel. Riza decided that she'd do this once.  _Just_ once.

“Who am I meeting again?”

“Maes Hughes,” Rebecca supplied. “Didn’t you talk to him again? You still have the app, right? Haven't deleted it yet?”

"How do you delete an app?"

Rebecca gave her a strange look. "How are you twenty-seven and completely out of touch with technology?"

"I'm not into it. Anyway, tell me how to delete it."

"No, it might come in handy." Rebecca waved her hand in a motion to dismiss the thought. "Anyway, haven't talked to him yet?"

“No? I haven’t opened Tinder at all. You’re the only one that uses it.”

“Riiiiizaaaaa,” Becky whined. “You’re no fun.”

“What’s new?” Riza mumbled. She surveyed the al fresco area in front of the restaurant. Whoever this Maes guy is had good taste—the dim, twinkling lights littered amongst the greenery, vibrant flowers looking like they glowed as dusk turned to night. It was set in a bustling but quiet part of town, filled with passing cars and people jogging or walking their dogs or both. Some people—presumably couples—held hands as they walked while others were either typing furiously or yelling furiously at their phones.

One couple in particular, crossed the intersection and walked in their direction. The man had a great deal of stubble and the woman had a pleasant face. He waved at them.

Riza’s brow furrowed. “Uh, Rebecca? Who is that?”

Becky turned from her seat and smiled, waving. “Maes, hi! Over here!”

“ _That’s_  Maes?” Riza gawked. Not only was he not her type, but her eye caught a glint of gold on his finger. She tensed. “Becky, you set me up with  _him_?”

"Rebecca, right?" he greeted jovially. "Nice to meet you! This is my lovely wife, Gracia."

Gracia laughed and gave Becky a friendly hug once the dark-haired girl got up and went over to them. "Oh, stop, Maes. Hi, Rebecca, nice to meet you. Maes told me all about your plans!"

"Oh, call me Becky. It's nice to finally meet you!"

“Riza, hi!” Maes greeted her this time, approaching her like she was an old friend. She leaned away and furrowed her brow.

“Maes has told me so much about you,” Gracia said with a smile, laughing as her husband straightened. "I assume you know the plan?"

“Plan? What plan?"

Gracia blinked and whirled on her husband. "You didn't tell her the  _plan_?"

"What is going on?” Riza asked, her eyes shifting between the couple and her friend. Something dawned on her and she glared at Becky. “Becky, did you just set me up with swingers?"

In an instant, Maes paled, Rebecca blanched, and Gracia snorted so hard she started coughing.

“NO!” Rebecca yelled in a panic. “God, no!”

Maes was equally taken aback. “WHAT?! No!”

Gracia was laughing so hard she started wiping tears from her face.

“Holy shit! Riza Hawkeye, I would never—“

“My Gracia is the only woman for me—“

“—even think of that—“

"Oh, this is fantastic," Gracia said, forcing herself to calm down.

“—and besides, you’re not exactly my type!” Maes finished. It evidently was the wrong thing to say, because all three females straightened and glared in his direction.

Gracia elbowed her husband hard in the ribs, all traces of laughter gone from her face. “Don’t be rude!”

“ _Ow_!”

“Apologize,” she said imperiously, gesturing to the blonde.

“I’m sorry,” Maes said in a tiny voice, rubbing his side.

Riza focused on Becky. “So. Mind explaining?”

Rebecca swallowed, terrified. She knew how good Riza's aim was, and her right hand was dangerously close to that butter knife. “Okay, so this is Maes and his wife, Gracia.”

“Nothing has been explained, Becky.”

“I’m getting to it!” she cried. “So I matched with Hughes on Tinder because he’s been using it to find a date for his best friend—“

“He’s a workaholic,” Maes jumped in, glasses flashing, “So out of the goodness of my heart, I took it upon myself to find him a date—“

“Does this friend know this is happening?” Riza asked the group.

“Knowing my husband?” Gracia piped up. “Probably no.”

Maes continued, “—because his new job as a teaching assistant is eating him alive—seriously, he’s devoted to the man, apparently he’s some kind of genius—“

“—but the man is an asshole, kind of,” Rebecca supplied. “A slave driver. Doesn’t allow any kind of personal life whatsoever. Kind of intense, too—reminds me of your dad.”

"So you want me to date someone who's like my dad?" Riza asked, confused.

"No! I mean, like. You'd get him."

“Dedicated to his work?” Riza asked Gracia.

“ _I_  think so,” the other woman agreed.

“And when we talked some more I realized that since  _your_  dad’s a professor and  _his_ friend’s boss is a professor,  _his_  best friend would be perfect for  _you_ ,” Rebecca finished with a smile.

“You’re going to like him!” Maes said earnestly.

Riza sighed in frustration, looking at Gracia. “So this is essentially a convoluted blind date.”

Gracia shrugged. “Basically.”

“Okay so if you’re not my date,” Riza asked, looking back at Maes, “who is?”

“He usually drops by at about six thirty, so I made it a little earlier to explain the situation,” Maes said, glancing at his watch. “He should be here in ten minutes.”

Gracia spoke up. “Or earlier.” She raised a hand and greeted someone behind Riza. “Hey.”

“Gracia, hi.”

Riza didn’t see his face, but she noticed tousled dark hair on the back of his head. He kissed Gracia’s cheek. “Hi, I didn’t know Hughes was bringing you.”

“I have a feeling you don’t know a lot of things,” she quipped.

The man sounded like he was scowling. “Hey.”

“Sorry. Wrong choice of words.”

“Roy!” Maes greeted, grasping the newcomer’s hand. “I’d like to introduce you to—“

Riza’s was openly surprised when she saw his face. “Roy Mustang?”

“Riza?” Roy blinked, then jumped in recognition. "Riza! Hi!"

"Did you just come from my father's?"

"Ah, yeah. I just submitted a paper. What are you doing here?"

A stunned moment of surprise fell upon the rest of the group, until Rebecca finally processed what just happened. “You  _know_ him?” she finally asked, pointing at Roy with a furrowed brow.

Maes followed suit, frantically gestured to the blonde. “You  _know_ her?”

“ _You_ know  _him_?” Roy asked Riza, pointing to Maes. “Since when?”

“Just now,” she answered, standing up to kiss Roy’s cheek. He did the same, still looking terribly confused.

“Can someone explain what’s going on?” Roy asked, looking at the four of them. 

She sighed. She turned to Rebecca. “Becky, this is Roy Mustang, my father’s teaching assistant.” 

“ _What_?” Rebecca gaped like a fish, eyes widening to the size of dinner plates.

Maes whirled on Roy. “Your  _boss_  has a  _daughter_?”

“Yes, he does,” Roy said with a frown. “I still don’t understand anything. Can someone  _please_ explain what’s happening?”

Gracia sighed and glanced at her watch. “We should probably order dinner. It’s getting late and this might take a while.”


	2. Chapter 2

Her phone buzzed for the fifth time, screen flashing, giving light to an otherwise dark room. She picked it up from beside her pillow and groaned when she caught sight of the white tag at the top of her phone.

 **Tinder _  
_** _Roy sent you a message_

Riza wanted to throw her phone across the wall if it weren’t so damn expensive. She had half the mind to just let Becky handle it, but her friend was not here, it was half past midnight, and she just wanted to go to sleep.

She could always turn off her notifications, but technology was definitely not her strong suit. Maybe she should just tell him to fuck off.

Another notification popped up and she hovered her thumb over it. Will he see it if she opened his message? Becky made sure that she could see whenever Riza opened her messages. How do you even turn these things off? How did Becky know these things?

Her phone tipped over and in a panic she adjusted her grip, accidentally clicking on Roy’s notif. She groaned and read over the messages he left.

_Hey, Riza. Are you mad at me?_

_Sorry I can’t text you, I don’t have your number and we’re not exactly Facebook friends so I just messaged you here on Tinder_

_Do you even have the app, still? Am I being presumptuous?_

_Are you mad at me? You flat out ignored me earlier. Did I do something?_

_Whatever it was I’m sorry_

She cursed under her breath. This was unfair to him. He didn’t do anything, and it’s not _his_ fault her father liked _him_ more.

It seemed like a petty thing to be upset over, but it annoyed Riza to no end. Roy was a wonderful guy, not terrible-looking, and actually quite funny and interesting when they got to talk. Overall, not a bad guy to flirt with.

But _God_ , her father _never_ shut up about him. Roy this, Roy that. Roy, Roy, _Roy_.

She’d always been civil whenever he came around, but now that it seemed that since he _had_ been introduced in a ‘friends’ context, it suddenly gave him reason to talk to her outside of their current setup, which was friendly, reserved hellos, and light kisses on the cheek because it seemed age appropriate—no one above the age of 25 simply _waved_ to a colleague.

She turned over and buried her face into her pillow. What would she say? Sorry she acted like a bitch?

If she knew how, she’d have deleted the app to avoid this whole… thing. Was it even a big deal?

Lifting her head, she placed her phone in front of her and internally debated her reply. _Sorry, had a lot of things on my mind earlier,_ she typed, testing the words. Mulling whether or not to send it, she rolled over on her back and held her phone over her face.

Wait, on text Becky said she could see whenever Riza was typing. She panicked mildly, and her grip loosened, her phone falling on her face. She jerked her head to the size and squeezed her eyes in surprise, her screen landing on her cheek.

“Damn it,” she murmured, picking up her phone, and accidentally pressing the little paper airplane icon. “Fuck!”

Three dots immediately started blinking on his side of the conversation, and a series of bubbles started popping up.

_Are u sure? I really feel like I did something wrong here_

_You literally stared at me for like a solid minute and walked right past me_

_If I did something I really am sorry, but please let me know what I did? :(_

Damn it. A sad smiley. Even she had to admit that was kind of adorable. She typed back.

_No, I’m sorry. Something pissed me off today and I kind of took it out on you._

A vague version of the truth. She should take out her irritation on her father, not the guy her father keeps talking about. He probably doesn’t even know his name comes up far more times than she actually saw him in person.

His response was immediate.

_Oh, okay. Sorry you had a shitty day._

What do you respond to that? It was a conversation killer, and Riza frowned a bit. Was that the end of that? After eight messages of incessant apologizing and other sundries? Becky said people swiped right on you if they liked you, and if you like them back you’d be a match. Was she being conceited in assuming that Roy would be interested in her? Or did he really like her? He swiped right, didn’t he? Or was he just being polite?

She could feel a headache coming on, and simply decided to call it a night.

His three dots started blinking again.

_Hey, at the risk of this sounding weird, but do u mind if I give you a call?_

She blinked. 

_Sure. Here’s my number_

She shot up in her bed and dropped her phone. What the fuck? What the fuck was she doing? Her hands started getting reckless and she shook them. “What are you doing, Riza?” she asked herself anxiously, staring at her phone like it would explode. Why’d she give him her number? Why’d she—

Her phone went black and she let out a breath. Okay, maybe it was—

It lit up again and started buzzing, an unknown number on her screen. She stiffened, staring at her phone with dread. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Okay. She could do this. This was fine.

Taking a deep breath, she slid her thumb over her phone. “Hello?”

“Riza?” the voice was deep and unmistakable. “Hi. Hey, it’s Roy.”

“Hi,” she murmured.

It was silent for a beat, “So, um—sorry. For calling this late. Or for—you know, being weird. In general. Sorry you had a bad day.”

“Mm,” she hummed, not really knowing what to say. “Thanks for acknowledging I had a bad day,” was that a thing people said? What do people say on the phone? What do they talk about? 

“So, um,” he coughed, “I, uh. I wanted to ask you something.”

“Mm?”

“But if you’re not interested I would _totally_ understand,” he rambled on. “It’s—I mean, I’d get it if you weren’t interested. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised, but, you know, you’re _you_ and you just—” 

She pressed her lips together. “Maybe you should tell me what it is, first?’

“Right. Right. You’re smart. I like you,” he said, before apparently panicking, “I mean I like you being smart, it’s a _great_ personality trait—”

Riza blinked. He was nervous. Was he nervous? He was _so_ nervous. Why would he be this nervous? “Roy? Is something wrong?”

“No, uh. No.” A pause. “I was just… I was hoping to… to see you, or something.”

“Now?” Her brow furrowed. “Did you need to give something to my dad?” It wouldn’t be the first time it happened, but her father usually had the request, and not the other way around.

“No! No, no,” he said, his voice breaking over the line. “Not now. Some other time. And not about your dad, just… you.”

“Oh. Um, what for?”

“Uh,” he started, “Well. I mean—I swiped… right. So…”

“Swiped right?”

“On Tinder,” he said gently, and Riza had to wonder if she was being stupid over this.

“Oh, right. Well, I wouldn’t know. I don’t really use it.”

“You—Oh, uh, so… how’d you end up getting one?”

“A Tinder? Well, my friend Rebecca—the curly-haired girl, she was with me that time—she made one for me. She uses it.”

“Oh. _Oh_. So you’re… not interested, then?”

When it clicked in her head, she bit her lip. Would it be presumptuous of _her_ to ask? “Roy,” she said, calmly.

“I—Yeah?” 

“Are you trying to ask me out?”

A pause. Then a meek, “You’re smart.”

Her heart pounded in her chest. “Oh,” she breathed, “Oh.”

“But like I said,” he said, “Totally cool if you’re not interested. Like, a hundred percent. But I’d really like it if you went out with me, but I totally respect if it you’re not cool with it—”

“Did you ask my dad about this?” she blurted.

“ _What_? No!”

“Oh. Okay.”

“I mean, I didn’t ask him if I could… see you. I do have your number though—for emergencies, he gave it to me—but I thought it would be weird, so I didn’t use it. I actually tried to talk to you earlier, but you just left and… yeah.” 

“Oh.” She pressed hand to her face. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize I was being rude.”

“No, it’s okay, you didn’t know. Um,” he laughed awkwardly. “So. Are you—Do you? Want to go out with me, I mean?”

“Wait, I thought I matched up with Maes. How are you on my Tinder? Unless I’m not fully understanding how this all works.”

“We matched, after that dinner. So I thought you were… yeah.”

Oh, right. Becky messed with her phone again, some time after the dinner. Maybe she did it. “Oh, okay. Well, no, it wasn’t me.”

The despairing sigh was almost impossible to miss, so she backtracked. “But I—I can do dinner.”

“Great!” Roy responded in a loud voice, but then cleared his throat and sad, “Um, great! That’s great. Is—Is Friday okay?”

“Friday is… um, I don’t know. Can I text you?”

“Sure! Sure. That’s—that’s awesome. Text me. Yeah.” A pause. “Anyway, um. That’s all.”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight, Riza,” he said so earnestly that it made her smile.

“Goodnight, Roy. See you, um. See you soon.”

“Yeah! Yeah. See you. ‘Night.”

When the line went dead, she dropped her phone and caught her face in her hands. What the fuck just happened?

She collapsed back on her bed and shook her head, kicking her legs, her body thrumming with newfound energy. A date with her father’s _teaching assistant_. What the fuck was her life?

It took her a few minutes to realize that she was smiling about it. She laughed and reached for her phone, scrolling for a familiar number. 

“Ngh, Riz, it’s _one in the morning_.” Becky yawned on the other end.

“I know,” Riza said, rolling over and clutching a pillow to her chest. Maybe she should tell her in the morning, when she processed everything. “Yeah. Sorry. I’ll text you in the morning.”

“Nope,” Becky said, popping the P. “You woke me up. You will tell me now.”

Riza half-smiled. “Really, Beck. Tomorrow’s fine.”

“No, this is a big deal. You’re calling me at one in the morning. Tell Mama Becky what’s wrong.”

“Mama Becky?” Riza’s face crumpled in distaste.

“Fuck off, it’s one in the morning. Now go. What’s up?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> riza being socially awkward and technology inept is really giving me life.
> 
> more of me at malahmente @ tumblr.


End file.
